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Releasing Our Grip on Perfectionism
Did you know that perfectionism is often rooted in fear, shame, and inner narratives that try to convince us we aren't good enough? I know I have been caught in the web of perfectionism, and it sure is a sticky one to get out of! In this blog post, I want to share a few tips that continue to help me release the grip of perfectionism so I can step forward with inner empowerment leading the way. Let's start with this powerful quote:
“Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from taking flight.” -Brené Brown
As I have entered into the world of sharing my gifts and talents I have been challenged to release the twenty-ton shield of getting every word perfect or every video polished. One of the most powerful ways I released this grip is through adding a powerful mantra into my life:
Done is good enough!
That's right! There's always opportunity to go back and refine later, but the moment I accepted that done is good enough and BETTER than not sharing at all, I was able to step back and actually allow intuition guide me more than my outward-facing, reputation-seeking fragile ego.
It took shifting from a mindset of "what will people think if there are mistakes," to "how can my words and showing up as I am offer some nourishment to others in whatever way they choose to embrace my offerings?"
Can you see how one is rooted in fear and the other is rooted in confidence that my gifts are worth sharing with the world? This is one of the greatest ways to get unstuck from that perfectionism trap, and remembering that people will appreciate the creative spirit behind the offering has helped me slay this web and face my fear of being seen.
The second way I shifted my mindset around perfectionism is through reframing my need for validation to understanding that my flavor and style won't be everyone's cup of tea and that's okay. What might have been the mantra here?
I won't be everyone's cup of tea. I am unapologetically ME!
This taps into the concept of releasing the grip of competing with others which fuels the fires of jealousy, fear, and low self-worth. One word I heard that was powerful was:
Interocity-there is no need to compete once meritocracy has given way to honoring one another's individuality. This idea came through a singer who was asked if she was nervous about being the opening act to another, more well-known singer. The woman said, "She has her style, and I have mine. We both have our unique creative gifts and we are simply here to share those gifts in our own ways."
What a dream it would be if we as a larger society embraced more of that attitude! Alas! It often remains up to each one of us to offload the inner critic narratives rooted in a culture built on meritocracy within our own hearts and cultivate new, more empowering messages that support owning and honoring our self-worth and letting our individual creative spark shine brightly.
One aspect of building confidence in this area is remembering it takes conscious effort to recognize, appreciate, and embrace the positive feedback we receive. Our minds will automatically attempt to hijack us into believing the single critic over the 15 admirers. Taking time to consciously work with the positive feedback alongside a view of knowing there's always room to grow can help build that inner trust and confidence our souls need to keep pressing forward.
The third way that I'm still getting a bit hung up on is not feeling ready enough to put myself out there. My head keeps playing old narratives that no longer serve my greatest good, so again I lean into refuting those narratives through my inner self-talk.
Authenticity and sincerity matter. I allow myself to be seen trying.
It really is amazing how much my confidence has grown as I have put myself out there with various posts and my online offerings. Trusting that whoever is meant to partake of these offerings will find their way to them also releases my need to control the outcomes. The joy is in the endeavor anyway, so I choose to relish in that.
I continue to focus on the sheer impact my simple presence and deep wisdom coming from the divine source of my creative spark are having on the people I interact with. I was just speaking with a friend the other day about the sheer amount of human beings I have interacted with over a 20 year physical therapy career.
You know what happened when I did that? I was able to release the anxiety of my service slowing down as I embark on this new adventure of serving with more authenticity, personal touch, playful creativity, and curiosity guiding my steps. Recognizing the power of deeply impacting one heart is the nectar the soul can thrive on to keep moving forward and strengthening our wings so we can soar.
Some of the questions I have asked myself over the years to break me out of the perfectionism rut are:
What could I do with my extra time if I trusted that done is good enough?
How does my unique flavor of showing up in life add to the interconnected societal fabric?
What inner spark is just waiting for permission from me to shine brightly?
How can I get out of my own way enough to let that spark of creativity naturally move through me?
I am also leaning into recognizing when my ego is pushing for a particular outcome vs when my intuition is guiding my steps. When I recognize the ego is in pressure cooker mode, I have learned the power of stopping, stepping away, and doing what I must to return to heart center.
Just this week I found myself stuck on a writing. It simply wasn't coming through in ways I had originally envisioned. I stopped, entered into contemplative meditation, and was directed to a totally different task: harvesting the last of my garden veggies. The next morning the writing came through just fine and I'm happy with how it turned out.
Somehow everything works out when we drop the weight of pressured performative perfectionism and allow our creative spark space to flow in its own time and at its own pace.
I would love to hear, what is the creative spark just waiting to reveal itself through your imperfectly human, divinely beautiful life?
Are you looking for support as you release your grip on perfectionism and strengthen your wings to fly? I would love to support you on this journey!
Book your free 30-minute discovery call today at:
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