Healing is Possible

I heard it said the other day that so long as we are alive and breathing, we have the opportunity to embark on a journey of healing. This journey is not easy, but the pain of staying stuck in patterns that keep me from living my best life ended up coming at too great of a cost. I have had to consistently make the choice to pull out of my own victim mindset and shame cycles, recognize that I am so much more than what this world had me believing, and define what healing meant for me. These endeavors have caused disruption to relationships, jobs, and what I believed I wanted over the years.

I'm still in the midst of various disruptions of what I have believed to be true, giving me an opportunity to create a new inner narrative that pulls me closer towards approaching life with authentic aliveness. Some days are easier than others, but the forward movement is worth celebrating as I can clearly see the ways I have been protected in my darkest hours, how knowledge and awareness have entered at just the right moments, and how I have actively sought curiosity and gratitude throughout my life. Having this deeper awareness has been a gift, and I trust that this deeper awareness is availabe to everyone should you choose to seek it out.

For far too long, I allowed my past to define my present. I allowed myself to fall into old habits of co-dependency and people pleasing that left me in the grips of chronic fatigue, chronic pain, anxiety, depression, and self-abandonment. I struggled saying no. I struggled with having porous boundaries that allowed those with toxic traits to enter and steal my energy. I struggled with knowing where I ended and another began. These are the patterns that left me lost, confused, and unable to find lasting belonging.

It is based on my own personal experience as well as witnessing the experiences of others that I am recognizing the deep importance of taking responsibility for my life and not basing my happiness on anything external to myself. This is where I believe the healing journey begins. In wellness coaching, the growth mindset begins with sacred acknowledgement of where one is at. Until we become aware of our own role in our dis-ease, whether physical, mental, or emotional, we will be driven by automatic reactions and patterns that repeat themselves. The moment we open up to how one new choice can start to shift the inner narrative is the moment we step out of cycles of self-doubt, shame, and fear, allowing cycles of empowerment, wisdom, and growth to enter.

Healing begins in the sacred act of acceptance. Acceptance of what currently is while knowing that the future holds the capacity for abundance. The moment we accept what is, the narratives we are repeating start to fade into the background, allowing for new narratives to take shape. I recall the moment the narrative surrounding my chronic pain got flipped on its head. I heard a mentor of mine speak about the critical difference between living IN pain and living WITH pain. The former was rooted in ever deepening suffering while the latter was rooted in acceptance of what is, doing what I could to change my lifestyle to allow for my body to heal, and continue to move forward despite my body offering some challenges. Yes, I have chronic pain. Yes, I have chronic fatigue. I have found ways to work with those conditions, honoring their neediness at times, and telling them I need to forge ahead anyway at times. It's now a dance instead of a tug-of-war, partly because I have danced with upgrading my nutrition, finding exericse that works for me without draining me, and recognizing how my own mental landscape needed to be upgraded through meditiation, reframing my self-talk, and choosing self-compassion instead of berating my body.

Once I learned the art of dancing with what was happening instead of fighting against it, I found myself in a more consciously aware space that allows me to gain knowledge and wisdom that supports my forward movement. My intuition was whispering again. Syncronicities and knowledge coming at the right moment began appearing before my eyes. My heart and mind were opening up to possibility. Once I dropped the rope that had me locked in the tug-of-war and chose to accept the dance, curiosity entered and my questions changed from why me to what is the lesson. As curiosity entered, I could start reframing the narratives that held their grip for way too long.

Curiosity allowed me to look back on my life with a new lens, a fresh perspective, and a gentle witnessing of the ways I was carried through my darkest times. I could see where the patterns that were keeping me locked in self-abandonment started, and I could actively choose to create a new narrative that was rooted in self-compassion and gratitude. Curiosity allowed me to seek more than what life was giving me and ask what is possible if I take responsibility for my life, follow my dreams, and live in alignment with my core values. Curiosity allowed me to see my own role in the various devastating circumstances of my life, offer forgiveness to myself, and set boundaries around my energy that transformed my self-abandonment into recognizing the critical need for self-care first and foremost.

Seeing how I had been carried through the various challenges offers me hope as I look towards the future. Looking within to find the love, strength, and empowerment rooted in that same power that carried me through the challenges has left me in a state of awe and wonder, recognizing my worth has always resided deep inside. This healing journey is one that is ever evolving, ever expanding, and ever transitioning. The lessons have become more subtle, more challenging, and yet also more rewarding as I deepen my conscious awareness. I am now able to look around with a perspective that sees the collective insecurity, fear, and shame that society has cultivated, recognizing that love is the language of healing.

It is never too late to choose love. It is never too late to reclaim worth and value. It is never too late to dream big and step into living a life filled with meaning and purpose. So long as we are breathing we have an opportunity to flip the script, create a new narrative, and not only transform our lives but also give permission for others to follow suit by being an example to others. The most amazing mentors in my life lead by example. Their inner love, inner strength, and inner worth shines brightly as beacons offering me hope, courage, and empowerment along the way. The more we step into that empowerment, the brighter we shine, the greater example we set, and the more we step into an authentic way of living that is real, raw, and beautiful.