Victim or Victory? The Choice is Ours

Photo courtesy of: Wesley Elund via Unsplash

This question is coming out of my own reflections on what it has taken for me to continue on a journey of transformation and growth instead of falling victim to my circumstances. None of us gets out of this world without feeling the depths of suffering, grief, trauma, and despair. It's built into the code of existence. But, so is joy, beauty, love, amazement, and opportunities for gratitude and curiosity.

I have dealt with my fair share of lost relationships over the years, fallen for false promises and believing in love being found somewhere external to myself. This built a trap of me believing, "if I only give more, then I will receive the love I'm crying out for." But, this was a lie built on my own inner idealism of how the world should be. I ended up being a victim of my own high expectations of myself, but more so, of others. Where did this lead? To further suffering and a call for turning inward, flipping the mirror from the external world to the internal world. Who am I? What is my purpose? What will help me live a life of inner satisfaction?

I could have remained in a state of blaming the world, blaming others, and victimizing myself through believing the lies of the world. "You're too sensitive. You're too much. You need to act in this particular way, then I might love you." These are lies from those who desire to keep us small, feeling unworthy, and ultimately leaving us in a state of loneliness even if we are in a room full of people. Waking up to the greater reality is what helped me forge a new path, one of choosing to strive for higher wisdom, deeper inner belonging, and joy that is not quite so fleeting. This is the journey of self-discovery, entering into the wounded places and shining a light of wisdom and loving mercy which uncovers our greatest gifts in the process.

What if the external world was feeding us lies out of their own fear and insecurity? What if those who have been victimized were targeted because the aggressors saw something they desperately wanted, but refused to work for? This has been my experience, and through gaining knowledge of how fear, insecurity, and shame can lead to oppression and abuse of others, I learned that the greatest way to move from victim to victory was through addressing my own feelings of fear, insecurity, and shame.

Taking this deep dive helped me to understand myself so much better. I understood why I reacted why I did, where I was sacrificing my own well being for the sake of others, and how my high sensitivity was placing me in a state of continual fatigue, pain, and overwhelm. It wasn't until this deep dive of self-discovery that I was able to pull out of a victim mentality and embark on a transformational journey leading towards ultimate victory. This is the journey of a thousand miles forged with each step of courageous inner work.

Instead of seeing life through a lens of victimhood, I am now seeing life through a lens of continual lessons and opportunities to upgrade. One of my most beloved mentors has said life is a university. We are all here to learn and everyone we encounter offers us a lesson. Some we learn what to do, others we learn what not to do. Through those who have been abusive, I learned that I refuse to treat anyone with harshness, instead seeking to offer compassionate criticism and speaking truth with softness and kindness. Through those who have sought to dim my light, I learned how to own more of the beauty of my highly sensitive and intuitive nature that helps me connect with others in their suffering. Through those who have offered empathy and compassion, I have learned the wonderful value of feeling seen, heard and appreciated. These are gifts I'm seeking to offer out to the world in whatever ways I can.

We can fall into becoming victims of our circumstances, various physical and mental diagnoses, or self-limiting beliefs. This is a choice. But, there is another choice awaiting us. We can choose to shift our mindset through the path of curiosity, acknowledgement, desiring to learn, and choosing to grow through whatever we may be going through. Our circumstances may not change, but the way we approach can truly make all the difference in the world. This is a process, and it takes determination to upgrade our lives, take responsibility for what we are capable of changing, and accept what we cannot change with grace.

What does victory look like? It looks like responding differently when similar lessons repeat themselves. It looks like choosing to eat healthier foods and move our bodies in the face of chronic disease. It looks like seeking out knowledge that can help us understand and accept what we are going through with a higher perspective. We can see life as an adventure and an opportunity to level up. We can forge a new path through becoming curious and grateful. These have been the cornerstones of my own transformation and victory amidst life's wildness. We can choose to seek greater emotional intelligence through becoming curious about our how our emotions can be our greatest teachers. We can find mentors who take time to support us in our raw vulnerability with loving and compassionate care. Victory comes through every small act of transformation, every upgrade in responding to our discomfort, and every opportunity we have to live a life of inner satisfaction rooted in our core values and deeper nature.

I am coming into a space of appreciating who I am in my fullness as my greatest gift. I am stepping away from needing to perform or change who I am as an attempt to fit into society's norms. I am gaining victory through understanding how my core values and inner nature are gifts of deeper connection and compassion I can offer out to a world filled with harshness. All I need to do is simply show up with integrity and authenticity. This is my greatest victory, and it is available to each and every one of you should you choose to forge ahead on the path of self-discovery and inner transformation.

Intrigued to find out how you can shift your mindset towards a path of victory? Please be in touch and let's see what we can do together!